How did that happen?

Car crashes are not funny. They are often tragic. What IS funny is how people who are involved in car crashes describe what happened on insurance claim forms. Combine the instinct to blame the other driver and the small space provided to write what happened, and these creative results can be rather humorous.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.
My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.
When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.
As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.
I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.
I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.
The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.
A lamp-post bumped into my car, damaging it in two places.
I blew my hooter but it would not work as it was stolen.
Going to work this morning I reversed out of my drive straight into a bus. But it wasn’t my fault because the bus was 5 minutes early and usually isn’t there when I leave.
I bumped into a lamp-post which was obscured by human beings.
I didn’t think the speed limit applied after midnight.
On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.
On the highway I moved from the centre lane to the fast lane but the other car didn’t give way.
The car in front of me stopped for a orange light, so I had no choice but to hit him.
I’ve been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.