Performance Review Terminology

Performance Reviews! Many of us will have had to endure one of these at least once during our careers, or had to give them to your staff. Here’s a breakdown of what they really mean…
Exceptionally well qualified: Made no major stuff ups… yet.
Average employee: Not too bright.
Active socially: Drinks a lot.
Character above reproach: Still one step ahead of the cops.
Zealous attitude: Opinionated.
Quick thinking: Offers plausible excuses for mistakes.
Careful thinker: Won’t make a decision.
Plans for advancement: Buys drinks for all the top boys in the office at happy hour.
Uses logic on difficult jobs: Gets someone else to do it.
A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused.
Express themselves well: Can speak English.
Strong principles: Stubborn.
Career minded: Back stabber.
Meticulous attention to detail: A nit picker.
Has leadership qualities: Is tall or has a really loud voice.
Exceptionally good judgement: Lucky.
Keen sense of humor: Knows a lot of dirty jokes.
Coming along well: About to be let go.
Of great value to the organization: Gets to work on time.
Exceptional networking skills: Spends the whole day on Facebook.
Relaxed attitude: Sleeps at desk.
Experienced problem solver: Screws up often.
Independent worker: Nobody knows what he/she does all day.
Forward thinking: Procrastinator.
Good communication skills: Spends lots of time on the phone.
Loyal: Can’t get a job anywhere else.