Problems All People Who Wear High Heels Understand
If you really want to understand women, you should walk a mile in their shoes. Literally.Being so amazed that you’re actually standing in them that you then stupidly waste 20 minutes of your stamina dancing around in them AT HOME.
Leaving your house without any flats to change into, because you think it will be “totally fine.”
When you attempt to drive without breaking your ankle or the car.
When your feet hurt at work, and you walk like a kid who is pretending to play dress up.
When the heel decides to break off your shoe.
When your heels are so high that you look like a person who has never actually seen a human walk before.
When the balls of your feet start to burn, and everyone starts to wonder if you have to pee.
When you wear peep toes or sling backs, and you realize this means the world will see your gross feet.
When you get your heel caught in a freaking grate.
When you have to decide being between comfy in flats or foxy in heels.
When you forget you’re wearing heels, and then you try to run.
When you’re NOT EVEN MOVING, and yet somehow still manage to fall.
When you put on a new pair of heels for a big outing without breaking them in first. You will immediately regret that decision. Refer to “totally fine” above.
When the only way to look cool in your heels is to sit down.
When you’re so desperate for a place to sit down at a bar that you end up just hiding out in the bathroom.
When the Band-Aids you put over your blisters start to come off. OW,OW,OW,OW,OW,OW.
Then being torn between keeping your heels on and living with the padi or having really, really dirty feet.
When you think, “I’ll just take a shortcut through the grass!”
When you FINALLY take your heels off for a break… and then make the mistake of putting them back on and your feet are somehow two times as big and four times as painful as they were before.
When you realize that high heels are not shoes, they are mean jokes pretending to be shoes.