Running… Ain’t nobody got time for that

Some people can run 10 km’s and look like they’re sauntering through a field of daises. Others feel like a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. But then you get those who gave up when they found out they said “run” and not “rum”. If that’s you, you might relate to some of these:
Some days you feel like running away, but then you remember how much you hate running.
You don’t have a Fitbit, but a couple of fat bits instead.
Every day you spend a few hours on a treadmill. Next week you might even turn it on.
You get a runner’s high on the way to the fridge.
You know that if you ever had to run for your life, you would probably die.
You count running late as an exercise.
Your philosophy is: no pain, no pain.
You think wearing your running clothes burns calories.
You have to exercise early in the morning, before your brain figures out what you’re doing.
Your doctor recently told you that jogging could add years to your life. He was right, you feel ten years older already.
That awkward moment when you’re wearing Nike’s and you just can’t do it.
You don’t need an app that tells you how many calories you’ve burned, but how many glasses of wine you’ve earned.
The only race you hate is the one you have to run.
Your friends know that if they see you running, they should probably run too, because it means something is probably chasing you.
Your definition of running, is running Netflix all night.